If Only Wufei's Story
by kichikoneko
Summary: One-Shot. Based off of “If Only.” Is in Wufei POV, and is about how he dealt with the happenings of the original story. Written to be a Christmas special. Enjoy Merry Christmas and Happy Hollidays


If Only, Wufei's story

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters, if I did it certainly wouldn't be as popular ;p and no profit is being made from this.

Rating: K+ (unless someone deems it needs booted up)

WARNING: contains male/male pairing, so if you do not approve please do not read.

Summary: One-Shot. Based off of "If Only." Is in Wufei POV, and is about how he dealt with the happenings of the original story. Written to be a Christmas special. Enjoy~

AN: Hello, hello, hello! Dear kichikoneko is back with a Wufei one-shot for the story If Only. It hardly makes any sense if you do not read the original story, so if you haven't I would recommend giving it a shot. It is a bit longer than I previously expected it to be, but since it is a Christmas Day special I find it makes the gift all the more sweeter for my dear readers. This story was specially requested by In2lalaland, so it is dedicated to her, I do hope you enjoy!

---

Startled I twised around to see who had flung my office door open so carelessly. With a frown I turned to where my back once again faced the door and continued working on my reports and charts.

"Sally, is there something you needed?" I finally asked after a couple minutes of silence. Once I heard the door click shut I peeked over my shoulder to view the sandy brown haired woman. She smiled at me, which I found to be quite odd, then she gazed across the small room that was almost over filled with file cabinets and paper before making her way to the only other chair in the room. After sitting no less than an arms distance away from me her smile faded.

"You've been distracted lately." Sally began with a solemn expression. "Your work has piled up a bit and some is even late. The reason I came is to find out why."

I looked away from the woman and let my eyes wander my cluttered desk. Maybe something _was_ distracting me. I'd never let things get this messy on purpose. In the end I knew it was all because of _him_.

"You are right." I replied and received a caring look from my older friend, though she wasn't that much older.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sally offered. I gazed nervously at my pencil holder for a few seconds.

"I'm not sure." I finally answered.

"In that case you should talk with someone to help you figure it all out. You can talk to me if you want." Sally spoke softly and patiently awaited my reply.

"Promise that you wont tell anyone." I said feeling my face begin to heat with a blush.

"Now, that is just plain childish, your secrets are safe with me." Sally chuckled.

"All right... I do suspect you to be the knowledgeable and understanding type." I swivelled my chair to face the woman. "It is Duo Maxwell."

"Oh, and how has he been distracting you?" Sally asked.

"Well, I haven't seen him for while now, but for some reason my thoughts are always about him." I stated calmly, though my head was racing.

"And you have no idea why?"

"Actually I do have suspicions." I let my voice drop slightly. I still felt severely unsure, but also saw no way out of telling my dear friend all about my conflict of emotion that violet eyed American instilled. Sally nodded for me to continue." You see... I'm not sure if you will approve, but I believe I have become infatuated with Duo."

"Oh." Sally let her shocked tone slip into her face. I once again turned my burning red face away from her. "I see no reason to disapprove, and I apologize for my behavior. It's just that I hadn't expected your reason to be like that."

I turned back and looked into her eyes just to make sure she wasn't lying. Once I figured her words were truth I continued explaining my conflict. "Duo has been away for a long time and I have no idea if or when he will come back to Earth, but I do want to see him again."

"What will you do once you see him?" Sally pried.

"I'm not sure, but I will be glad."

"Will you tell him of your 'infatuation?'"

"No!" I snapped then dropped my eyes to the floor with embarrassment.

"Are you worried he will not accept you?"

"Yes, I am. He likes Hilde not men." I pouted at the thought.

"Well, I hope we can figure this out because it would be a shame to let your whole life get away from you for one possible rejection." Sally smiled again. "Anything you think I could do to help?"

I glanced up at her kind face and knew my friend was sincere. "Think you can help me forget him?"

"Sure, let's go out for coffee after our shifts." Sally offered and received a pleased nod from my overly stressed self.

---

Coffee and desert shops had become somewhat of a habit for Sally and me for the last month or so, and we were even becoming well known by certain employees at our more frequented places. Today Sally wanted to eat "cute" deserts for breakfast as she had so admiringly put it.

I felt I was easily slipping out of my obsession with Duo and knew I would be rid of those haunting daydreams of gushy romantic things soon.

That is why when I saw that long brown braid my temper blew and I basically wanted nothing more to do with the eccentric American. That is why my voice took a tone of annoyance when I spoke to him.

'_Why in all things decent is he here?'_ I practically screamed in my head. This day was already turning out bad, and to think that it was also the first day of my vacation!

Annoyance aside I was happy to see Duo looking as lively as ever. What had that man been up to? I couldn't help but wonder. Even though I wanted to forget everything about the Deathscythe pilot I couldn't stop myself from enjoying those lovely violet eyes.

After the morning fiasco was over I pulled the act of being happy to leave the cute building, even though I was feeling very reluctant. I wanted to apologize to Duo for treating him so horribly. It was and also was not the impression I wanted to give. Now all I felt aside from regret was the undying urge to make it all up to the charming brunette... and possibly get a little something in return...

I felt I might have to slap myself if those thoughts continued, besides with the romantic-style thoughts returning to my mind I was certain that seeing that brunette ever again would make me crack, break, and buckle until my love was returned.

However, ecaping impending doom was unacceptable for a warrior of my caliber and ignoring Duo when he was so close could be mentally damaging. Sally calling me later that night didn't help. She had called about Duo and was asking if I knew where the "silly" man lived. Of course I had no idea and Sally insisted I have his address to check and see if Duo was living comfortably or not.

Work on vacation! But I couldn't muster enough mental strength to disobey and the next day I stood outside an apartment door. My nerves bubbled up as I raised one hand to knock. _'What if this is his place? What if he thinks I'm weird for checking up on him? What if? What if? What if!'_

I pushed my thoughts aside and brought my hand to the door a few times. A loud thump behind the door screamed "this is Duo the dork!" And I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Then I heard a quiet voice say something to the lines of "Who is it?" Just like Duo to not answer the door properly.

"Chang. Ms. Po sent me to make sure you had proper living conditions." I said through the door. A muffled reply of some kind reached my ears and for a moment I wondered why the door hadn't been opened yet. Was Duo upset with me for being a total jerk yesterday? "Is everything alright, Maxwell?" I listened for the reply and understood when I was invited in... Maybe something else was the matter. Without hesitation I opened the door to see Duo laying on the floor between a coffee table and a crummy old couch. Before I could stop myself I was asking with worry about why the man was face down on the floor and soon a small conversation was underway. Between worrying for Duo and wanting to know what happened I felt this conversation portrayed too many of my hidden feelings toward the clumsy American.

Once the word "Yoga" was said I had to stop myself and think calmly about how I might be able to help. Perhaps learning about Chinese back-pain remedies was actually going to come in handy. I quickly snapped my gaze back to Duo, who was still lying on the floor, then I got permission to look at the injury.

I hastily found my way beside Duo, even having to move the creaky wooden coffee table for more space, and started to reach down to the black cotton shirt. I quickly brought my hand back once I realized I didn't even know where the injury was.

'_Now who's the silly one, Sally?'_ I thought as I shook my head and asked where it hurt the most. Half expecting some snazzy remark I was a bit stunned when I received a straight answer from the brunette. _Well, at least it's his lower back.'_ I thought sarcastically.

With slight hesitance I lifted away the shirt to reveal very soft looking skin and a slightly swollen red spot near his spine. I felt my face heat as I gently touched Duo's warm back and began my prodding for serious injury. Nothing looked or felt broken or out of place, only the muscles were ill at ease, so I tried my best not to think while I gently massaged around the sore spot.

It felt nice to be so close to Duo, and even better to be able to touch him. I realized how much in control over this situation I was and felt my face grow even hotter. The way Duo seemed to relax under my hands made me feel accomplished and maybe even like I deserved to be so close to someone.

I shook all thoughts from my head and carefully helped Duo up onto he couch. I feebly tried not to touch the old couch, the nasty thing shouldn't have been allowed to exist with its mysterious rips, tears, and stains, not to mention the horrible green color. Suddenly I realized how empty my stomach was because of skipping breakfast; being caught up in the mood of things I eyed Duo curiously wondering if he was hungry as well.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?" I asked resisting the urge to smile playfully. _'Stay strong! Have integrity!' _ I told myself confidently as I offered, or rather told, Duo I was going to make us lunch.

---

With the excuse of checking on his back I managed to see Duo multiple times during the week of my vacation. I had to admit, but only to myself, that I enjoyed making breakfast, lunch, or dinner for Duo; although, the idiot would rather watch TV than have conversation while eating. That tripped on my nerves so much that by the end of the week I was more than glad to go back to work and ignore the incompetent brunette, and not to mention how Duo stupidly laughed at my reason for not liking rice when we actually did talk. I felt the entire week was a complete waste of my time. Still my thoughts of Duo wouldn't subside enough to let me back into my mundane routine without frequent daydreams consisting of the brown haired nuisance.

---

Without hesitation I stepped into the classy restaurant and was immediately greeted by a man in a fancy, tailed suit. The man asked if I had a reservation and I nodded with a pleasant smile.

"Wufei Chang." I said as the man picked up a clipboard from a table and flipped through a few pages.

"Ah, yes. Right this way Mr. Chang." The man nodded and showed me to a two-person table, after which he quickly left me alone.

There were several other people sitting around, most in large groups or pairs. Of course I was going to met someone as well so I wouldn't be alone for long. Sally said I was going to meet an important friend of hers and she thought we could get along splendidly, but if it weren't Sally's friend I probably wouldn't even care. Being back at work was giving me plenty to do besides obsessing over Duo and bugging him about a sore muscle.

Thinking about Duo was infuriating to say the least. Having someone so close yet impossibly far from where you _actually_ want them was anything but pleasant. I couldn't suppress my longing sigh. Duo was all that I could ever want and also the object of which I utterly despised.

I didn't plan on ordering any food until that unknown friend arrived, so I occupied my time by examining my surroundings. The color scheme seemed simple yet luxurious in deep shades of burgundy, wine, and tan; the pale yellow lighting from the various chandeliers and candles accentuated the beauty of the various intricate busts, statues, and paintings. Long table cloths brushed the floor and swayed in the gentle breezes from people passing by them.

Feeling a strange prickle on the back of my neck, one that usually only happened when someone was staring at me, I looked over my shoulder and caught Duo of all people watching me from a few tables away. A strange look made its way onto his face. I was furious about what that look meant, but my heart felt like it had fallen through a trap door in my chest when I noticed the other occupants of his table. I couldn't stay here. Not now. Not with him so close.

My eyes were not blind to Relena sitting directly beside Duo, but I did try to ignore the fact that she was there so that my jealousy would not rise higher than it already was. He was eating a fancy dinner with her and she seemed quite happy to have him by her side. That was enough, I had it with Duo and his charming ways, with Relena and her ever-calm persona, with this stupid restaurant and Sally's friend I haven't even met yet! I needed air and lots of it.

"Excuse me," I addressed a waiter. "Could you inform the person I was supposed to meet that I was unable to come?"

"Of course, sir." The waiter smiled and carried on his way.

I wasted no time making my way outside. My motorcycle was not far from the door so it didn't even take me a minute to get to the shiny black machine. Just as I turned the key I heard someone holler, so I glanced up to see that single, annoying braided American dart in my path. I didn't feel like holding back my aggressive emotions so I let my face tell Duo I was not happy. The violet eyed man seemed to shrink before my glare of destruction.

Why of all people did I have to fall for the most incompetent pilot in existence? Getting in my way only increased the rage building in me, couldn't he figure that out?

"Out of my way, Duo! This is your only warning." I snarled at him, tempted to rev the motorcycle's engine for emphasis.

My threat seemed to have a reverse effect because his posture shifted and he returned a mild glare. Knowing Duo as well as I did I knew that I was sunk. He wasn't going to give in and let me go until he had his peace. To better hear him out I turned off my motorcycle and allowed Duo his words, warning him to make it quick.

---

After the conversation I made my way home and allowed myself to plop down on my white plush couch where I thought about my new lunch date with Duo... _No_, not a date, I would never date such a fool. I needed to force Duo out of my mind and not let his feeble existence torment me anymore. I needed this idiotic crush to be over with.

Reluctantly I picked up my phone to call Sally. She usually had good ideas about things, so I didn't see the harm in asking her how to rid myself of Duo without actually running him over with my motorcycle.

"Hello?" Sally's voice was heard as soon as her picture showed on the little box. "Oh, hi Wufei, something wrong with dinner?"

"Um, actually I didn't meet your friend at all." I replied hiding the fact that I was uneasy.

"Why?" She asked furrowing her brows in confusion.

"Duo was at the restaurant, so I left." I answered honestly.

"And you got all bent out of shape, huh?" Sally teased. "Why don't you just tell him?"

"He isn't gay so there is no way he would even consider me." I replied as matter of fact as possible. She let out a soft sigh and looked sternly at me through the screen.

"Then I have no idea how to help you. Certainly you wouldn't be any worse off even if you are rejected by him, you might even get over him." Sally said calmly.

"He would most likely let someone else know that I like him and then my life would be forever doomed."

"And that, Wufei, is paranoia." Sally informed while waggling an index finger, but it just so happened I already knew what she told me.

"I'll leave you alone now." I said and before she could protest I pushed the button to disconnect the call. Sighing I pondered over all of what she had said and came up with a hundred possible turn-outs, not one of them was a good one.

---

Lunch with Duo wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still Duo acted like a carefree buffoon and his 'cute' act was getting my nerves –probably because he _was_ that darn cute! To me anyway. Then he had to go and get serious, tipping the scale on my annoyance and making me want to blow something up preferably with him inside. Luckily I had more self control than that and resigned myself to petty arguing.

To top the cake that idiot of a man had to turn completely unoffensive and _apologize _for something he didn't even know about! I was a bit swept away, but more embarrassed than anything. Not to mention how confused I was! I suppose it was fairly inevitable that I might make a slip of tongue and give the overly observational man a clue as to how I truly felt. After that the lunch was mostly ate in silence because I was afraid I might lose my cool and slip up again. So much for my integrity.

My plight did not end after the dinner though and my thoughts would not stop, they even kept me up most of the night. I felt guilty for leaving Duo out on a limb, and afraid he might make something more out of my unfinished sentence.

I arrived at his door and waited a few minutes before knocking so that I could prepare my nerves. He seemed confused to see me which I figured was normal for someone in his standing. Though we were actually able to get along, a new contributing factor to how guilty I felt for pushing him away. What is a guy to do in this situation? I couldn't possibly tell him how I felt despite what Sally said.

That is why I felt so confused when Duo wanted to talk to me and asked if I had fallen in love with him. I had to quickly think of an escape, and I did. I had chosen the path of pushing him farther away. Maybe I acted horribly, but it was the only thing I felt I could do, seeing as my only other thought was to tell him yes.

I seriously thought I'd scared Duo away for good after the first week of not seeing or hearing from him. I sort of locked away all of my problems inside the back of my mind and focused on my work. Needless to say I couldn't come up with any good ideas for my next assignment, so I passed it along to someone I knew could handle it.

Week two went by and I'd hardly spoken a word to Sally, much less to everyone else. I figured Duo was gone forever and might even go back to the space colonies to stay away from me. I already missed him and knew if I could go back and do everything again I would have told him "Yes."

Then my phone rang and it was Duo, he'd called to ask if I wanted to talk in person. I wanted to utilize this opportunity to not push him away anymore, so I hurriedly agreed.

I wasn't sure what exactly to expect from the meeting, so when Duo asked me semi-straight forward if I liked him I instinctively became defensive, but Duo persistently said he liked me, no shame anywhere to be found, so I inquired --maybe a bit too grouchily. Then he asked me the question I always dreamed he'd say to me... and I over reacted. Caught off guard as I was my defensive nature came out at first, but I really didn't want him to leave forever and overcame my worrying and doubt to finally inadvertently tell him it as fine by me.

Our first date was an anthology movie at the theater and Duo found it to be the best place for a nap, so I quietly woke him and said that the movie wasn't really that interesting since I had already heard all of the poems before. He was happy to leave and I was happy to hold his hand as we left, all disapproving stares gone unnoticed by both of us. He walked me home to my apartment and in the moment I inched closer to my beloved and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. He smiled at me then and I had a strong feeling this would last a very long time.

AN: Yeah, this is it! You can critique if you wish, or just leave a nice little comment, either way I will enjoy all reviews! I hope you all have a very happy Holiday!


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